Made for TV movies!

So I just came back from watching my favourite gal, "Ugly Betty", on the big screen. I guess having her background in television, I should have known that this would be a TV type movie. You know, the kind you can afford to wait to see on television. The kind that the big screen can't even help boost a little. Yeah, that's Our Family Wedding alright.
Don't get me wrong, I mean it was relatively entertaining. I mean, about thirty minutes into the movie I realised that it was the kind of show that you had to drive yourself to be entertained by. Know what I mean. Its kinda like laughing at your fiance's joke even though they aren't THAT hilarious. You do it cause you generally enjoy him.
I generally enjoy Ugly Betty, so I couldn't let this movie be a complete dud for me so I laughed at the jokes...funny parts rather which seemed soooooo rehearsed/overdone.
I mean can you ever imagine Forest Whitaker aka Idi Amin as a funny character in a romantic comedy? Doesn't fit right...he tries to play an old hottie in this movie (younger women can't help but fall for him...apparently) and...I don't know I just find his eye to be a distraction. Is that just me?
Anyway, you can definitely wait to see this one on M-net. Oh yeah, that Regina King (I hope that's right) from 227 is also in this...she too just can't help but drop her draws for oh so irresistible Forest.
Oh and the overall storyline, paler girl meets darker boy - they fall in love - want to get married - but wait till the very last moment to tell their family - is soooooooooooooooooooooooo old. What year did Jungle Fever come out again?
1 and a half spoons

A Single Man

Starring: Colin Firth, Julienne Moore, Mathew Goode, Nicholas Hoult
Directed by: Tom Ford (apparently a huge fashion designer but am not too clued up on that)
Based on a book by Christopher Isherwood

It’s been a few years since Brokeback Mountain. I thought Brokeback Mountain would open up the door to a whole new genre that was not just about peripheral characters in inane romantic comedies but about introducing alternative romantic drama to the worlds.

But it has taken this long for a movie to be mentioned in the same breath as ‘I wish I knew how to quit you…’.

Tom Ford, thank you, or keeping the torch burning.

Yes, so A Single Man a great, it is poignant and heartfelt and broke my heart.

It is a story of loss, and discovery that even when you’ve lost everything that means anything, the world continues to hold treasures that are worth living for.

Tom Ford portrays these little treasures by infusing colour on those treasures so that it is easy for the viewer to map the things that go toward opening up Colin Firth mind about ending it all.

It is a beautiful movie with stunning imagery. It had me at the opening scene. But the ink blot on the sheets, the way Nicholas emerges out of the dull colours, the dichotomy of the one made up eye verses the plain, vicious verses tender, and the gorgeous Spanish trick. These are images that linger and offer more than what is on the surface and only an agent who brokers these kinds of images can offer them up so appetizingly.

It is a beautiful story and it resonates, bent or straight.

4 spoons

Ai! Bafana Bafana

The funniest thing I heard today.
You know how that whole 'feel it, its here' - slogan or whatever you wanna call it was like on everybody's lips in the days leading up to and during the bafana matches/world cup.
You know how it changed from 'feel it, it is here' to a very ghettorised, "Phillip, he's here."
After our 3 - 0 loss yesterday, the slogan/phrase became, "Phillip, he's gone!"
I cracked up.
It was a lovely dream. Bafana reaches World Cup finals...just imagine.

BAFANA STILL HAVE A CHANCE, IF...

Closer + the play with a black cast

So a few weeks ago we decided to go see Closer, the stage version...the black version.

For the record, the play came before the movie, Patrick Marber wrote both play and movie. The movie starred Julia Roberts, Jude Law, Natalie Portman and Clive Owens.

The South African version of the play is directed by Sello Maake ka-Ncube. Apparently he directed the same play ten years ago with an all white cast. This time, Fezile Mpela plays Larry, Sibusiso Radebe is Dan, Linda Sokhulu is Anna, and Lindiwe Matshikiza is Alice.

By far Fezile gets top marks for an excellent performance. Probably better than the movie-Larry, that's for sure. He was hilarious, captivating, alluring...a dreadful character - especially at the end. Totally bought the story.

Thought Matshikiza (who I love) was in a little over her head with Alice. Didn't think she pulled it off at all. Wasn't cute enough (not talking appearance...)...she didn't play innocent well at all. She tried though. Her stripper movies weren't all that convincing either sadly. Whereas the opposite was true for Fezile, you believed that he was a bastard of sourts.

Linda and Sibusiso did worse though. Sibusiso more so than Linda. There was none of that Jude Law charm. Nothing.

Anywho, it was still well worth it. Fezile saved the day - me thinks. You have until Sunday to see it if you are keen. I thought it was fun.

Inception... coming soon

'The mind is a volatile place, where places can rearrange and people can have power much stronger than in reality, and the complications of the mind can create dreamscapes that can end in mere seconds.' Wikipeadia

Clash of the Titans

Other than to help you brush up on one’s distorted and limited view of Greek mythology for a game of 30 seconds (I mean really where else would one use this) and to ogle Sam Worthington’s awesomeness and almost have a peak up his skirt, this remake of a very bad movie should probably not have been made.

I wondered why I’d not heard much about this movie and the reason is this… it is not worth seeing and no one wants to put anybody else through the misery so everyone is necessarily forgetting that they’d seen it.

My issues:
Why the hack does Medusa get such a bad rap? It’s not fair that she gets her head chopped off and the pretty princess who could save the day as well by being dead is left unharmed head attached to body. What did Medusa ever do to anybody? Okay fine she turned people to stone but they should have known better than to sexually harass her.

Why the hell did they make it in 3D? It added nothing and the many times that I took my goggles off, it seemed a bit clearer, less irritating to the eye.

It is too loud. Yes I do make use of ear phones and I do put the volume at its maximum but this should not make me more sensitive to noise. There was a lot of noise which just irritated. Mind you I am aware that noise can be an issue for people of a certain age but I enjoyed Terminator Salvation and Star Trek. They were not noisy, they had good sound which added to the enjoyment of the movie. Titans tried to make the effect of the movie to be its loudness and and it failed miserably.

The effects were no better than the original flick. Even in 3D! And having made this in the new decade of the new millennium, this is a disgrace. Pegasus for instance, the winged flying horse. In 1981, it’s flying form may have been a little out there but in 2010, one needs to hire someone who can say, if a horse were to fly, this is how it would do it. Know what I mean? Know what I mean? The legs, after taking flight would neatly fold themselves into its body. The heard would be aligned to its body so that there’s less friction. Something just something to say, we are not just doing a remake of this, we have actually thought about it a little.
All the characters of the movie did not make sense. It was nice to see the stars of Skins but they make a pathetic showing. Effie and Tony (yummy Nicholas Hoult) of Skins, back together again… and they are terrible. They looked so out of place and thought they were still in their skins characters.
All in all, a small disappointment (because expectations were low enough).

Liam Neeson vs Laurens Olivier as the Zeus’s. Both lose. Good foundation for a really epic Lord of the Rings type. And everyone knows a little bit about the subject so Hollywood writers, get a little bit creative will ya? It’s sold, just come up with a decent product.

No spoons…

Oscar nominations

Rated in the most important categories first... STAR TREK!

Sound editing
Avatar (Christopher Boyes and Gwendolyn Yates Whittle)
The Hurt Locker (Paul NJ Ottosson)
Inglourious Basterds (Wylie Stateman)
Star Trek (Mark Stoeckinger and Alan Rankin)
Up (Michael Silvers and Tom Myers)

Sound mixing
Avatar (Christopher Boyes, Gary Summers, Andy Nelson and Tony Johnson)
The Hurt Locker (Paul NJ Ottosson and Ray Beckett)
Inglourious Basterds (Michael Minkler, Tony Lamberti and Mark Ulano)
Star Trek (Anna Behlmer, Andy Nelson and Peter J Devlin)
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Greg P Russell, Gary Summers and Geoffrey Patterson)

Visual effects
Avatar (Joe Letteri, Stephen Rosenbaum, Richard Baneham and Andrew R Jones)
District 9 (Dan Kaufman, Peter Muyzers, Robert Habros and Matt Aitken)
Star Trek (Roger Guyett, Russell Earl, Paul Kavanagh and Burt Dalton)

Writing (adapted screenplay)
District 9 (Neill Blomkamp and Terri Tatchell)
An Education (Nick Hornby)
Precious (Geoffrey Fletcher)
Up in the Air (Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner)
In the Loop (Jesse Armstrong, Simon Blackwell, Armando Iannucci and Tony Roche)

Writing (original screenplay)
The Hurt Locker (Mark Boal)
Inglourious Basterds (Quentin Tarantino)
A Serious Man (Joel and Ethan Coen)
Up (Pete Docter and Bob Petersen)
The Messenger (Alessandro Camon and Oren Moverman)

Best picture
Avatar (James Cameron and Jon Landau, producers)
District 9 (Peter Jackson and Carolynne Cunningham, producers)
An Education (Finola Dwyer and Amanda Posey, producers)
The Hurt Locker (Kathryn Bigelow, Mark Boal, Nicolas Chartier and Greg Shapiro, producers)
Inglourious Basterds (Lawrence Bender, producer)
Precious (Lee Daniels, Sarah Siegel-Magness and Gary Magness, producers)
A Serious Man (Joel Coen and Ethan Coen, producers)
Up in the Air (Daniel Dubiecki, Ivan Reitman and Jason Reitman, producers)
The Blind Side (Gil Netter, Andrew A Kosove and Broderick Johnson, producers)
Up (Jonas Rivera, producer)

Art direction
Avatar (art direction: Rick Carter and Robert Stromberg; set decoration: Kim Sinclair)
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (art direction: Dave Warren and Anastasia Masaro; set decoration: Caroline Smith)
Nine (art direction: John Myhre; set decoration: Gordon Sim)
Sherlock Holmes (art direction: Sarah Greenwood; set decoration: Katie Spencer)
The Young Victoria (art direction: Patrice Vermette; set decoration: Maggie Gray)

Cinematography
Avatar (Mauro Fiore)
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Bruno Delbonnel)
The Hurt Locker (Barry Ackroyd)
Inglourious Basterds (Robert Richardson)
The White Ribbon (Christian Berger)

Foreign language film
Ajami (Scandar Copti and Yaron Shani, Israel)
A Prophet (Jacques Audiard, France)
The Secret of Her Eyes (Juan Jose Campanella, Argentina)
The White Ribbon (Michael Haneke, Germany)
The Milk of Sorrow (Claudia Llosa, Peru)

Directing
Avatar (James Cameron)
The Hurt Locker (Kathryn Bigelow)
Inglourious Basterds (Quentin Tarantino)
Up in the Air (Jason Reitman)
Precious (Lee Daniels)

Actress in a supporting role
Mo'Nique in Precious
Vera Farmiga in Up in the Air
Penélope Cruz in Nine
Anna Kendrick in Up in the Air
Maggie Gyllenhaal in Crazy Heart

Actor in a supporting role
Christoph Waltz in Inglourious Basterds
Christopher Plummer in The Last Station
Matt Damon in Invictus
Stanley Tucci in The Lovely Bones
Woody Harrelson in The Messenger

Actress in a leading role
Meryl Streep in Julie & Julia
Sandra Bullock in The Blind Side
Helen Mirren in The Last Station
Gabourey Sidibe in Precious
Carey Mulligan in An Education

Actor in a leading role
Morgan Freeman in Invictus
Jeff Bridges in Crazy Heart
George Clooney in Up in the Air
Colin Firth in A Single Man
Jeremy Renner in The Hurt Locker

Animated feature film
Up (Pete Docter and Bob Peterson)
The Princess and the Frog (Ron Clements and John Musker)
Coraline (Henry Selick)
Fantastic Mr Fox (Wes Anderson)
The Secret of Kells (Tomm Moore)

Costume design
Bright Star (Janet Patterson)
Coco Before Chanel (Catherine Leterrier)
The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (Monique Prudhomme)
Nine (Colleen Atwood)
The Young Victoria (Sandy Powell)

Documentary (feature)
Burma VJ (Anders Østergaard and Lise Lense-Møller)
The Cove (Louie Psihoyos and Fisher Stevens)
Food, Inc (Robert Kenner and Elise Pearlstein)
The Most Dangerous Man in America: Daniel Ellsberg and the Pentagon Papers (Judith Ehrlich and Rick Goldsmith)
Which Way Home (Rebecca Cammisa)

Documentary (short subject)
China's Unnatural Disaster: The Tears of Sichuan Province (Jon Alpert and Matthew O'Neill)
The Last Campaign of Governor Booth Gardner (Daniel Junge and Henry Ansbacher)
The Last Truck: Closing of a GM Plant (Steven Bognar and Julia Reichert)
Music by Prudence (Roger Ross Williams and Elinor Burkett)
Rabbit à la Berlin (Bartek Konopka and Anna Wydra)

Film editing
Avatar (Stephen Rivkin, John Refoua and James Cameron)
District 9 (Julian Clarke)
The Hurt Locker (Bob Murawski and Chris Innis)
Inglourious Basterds (Sally Menke)
Precious (Joe Klotz)

Makeup
Il Divo (Aldo Signoretti and Vittorio Sodano)
The Young Victoria (Jon Henry Gordon and Jenny Shircore)
Star Trek (Barney Burman, Mindy Hall and Joel Harlow)
Music (original score)
Avatar (James Horner)
Fantastic Mr Fox (Alexandre Desplat)
Up (Michael Giacchino)
The Hurt Locker (Marco Beltrami and Buck Sanders)
Sherlock Holmes (Hans Zimmer)

Music (original song)
Almost There, from The Princess and the Frog, by Randy Newman
Down in New Orleans, from The Princess and the Frog, by Randy Newman
Loin de Paname, from Paris 36, by Reinhardt Wagner and Frank Thomas
Take It All, from Nine, by Maury Yeston
The Weary Kind, from Crazy Heart, by Ryan Bingham and T Bone Burnett

Short film (animated)
French Roast (Fabrice O Joubert)
Granny O'Grimm's Sleeping Beauty (Nicky Phelan and Darragh O'Connell)
Logoramam (Nicolas Schmerkin)
The Lady and the Reaper (Javier Recio Gracia)
A Matter of Loaf and Death (Nick Park)

Short film (live action)
The Door (Juanita Wilson and James Flynn)
Instead of Abracadabra (Patrik Eklund and Mathias Fjellström)
Kavi (Gregg Helvey)
Miracle Fish (Luke Doolan and Drew Bailey)
The New Tenants (Joachim Back and Tivi Magnusson)

Precious

I’ve been dragged by no good friends to watch movies I did not have the inclination to watch, this has been a burden on my movie watchin' soul for a while and it is time, it is time to say what i thought about these no good flicks that have taken 90 minutes of my life. (you would have to imagine me saying the previous in Precious' mother or Sophia from colour purple's voice). It’s Complicated is one of the movies, and Precious is the other. No pleasant surprises in both.

Isn’t it weird how they refer to the movie? In all the award shows I’ve seen so far, they don’t just say Monique for Precious, it’s always: Monique for Precious, based on a book Push by Sapphire. For what? For What?

So yes, went to go see Precious today and my instincts were right. It is depressing. Monique was good but the story is just so horrible and demented with demented characters.

Which brings me to our favourite topic Heartwarmer, here is another ‘black’ movie showing 'black' characters in the worst light and they are being recognised for it? Is this all that we do well? Play abusive people? Drug dealers? Slaves? Bad cops? Black men who drive old crusty white ladies around? Demented dictators of African countries?

Oh no, there is some light at the end of the tunnel because we have, our Madiba, our saviour, our claim to fame. Morgan Freeman has also gotten some recognition for his portrayal of Nelson Mandela in Invictous. So it is not all lost.

I’ve realised that the key to award recognition (other than shameless lobbying) is to speak to the theme of the current time. To speak to what the 'collective conscious' is experiencing and award shows will recognise. Good examples, Hurt Locker, Iwo Jima, they all spoke to what the west thought of the war in Iraq and Afghanistan. Michael Clayton? Corporate advancement at all cost, preceding devastating financial crisis? Up in the air? Financial crisis consequences? Which is why It’s Complicated, spits in America’s face because, who the hell has so much money and is renovating when the property market is in the toilet and banks aren’t giving out loans for frivolous home improvements.

I am rambling. Back to Precious. I did not fall asleep. And I did not cry. Mind you it’s not hard to make be cry. Given my biological clock ticking and all, I find that I cry very easily these days, especially when it comes to children. Precious did not unfortunately touch me in that way.

There are good performances. Look out for Mariah Carey and Lenny Kravitz as never seen before. Mariah looks like she woke up from a deep sleep and immediately afterwards did her scenes. She was not bad though. Lenny has a weird thing going on with his one eye. I think he has a lazy eye, but he still comes across as supper sexy.

I give Precious, based on a book Push by sapphire, 3 spoons.

Award ramblings

Up in the air was also oh so tiresome. It is interesting the recognition that this movie is getting. Is it because the movie tells the story of the time? Poor Americans losing their jobs... Clooney is weired in his choices of movies, Micheal Clayton was a similar type but had a different impact on me. Goodnight and good luck was also weired. anywhoo, am not cheering for up in the air.

Woop woop to Hurt Locker for giving us a break at the Bafta's from Avatar mania that we saw at the Golden globes. But the pendulum went too much to the other side me thinks. It won so many awards that you feel is this another over reaction to afghanistan and iraq from the Brits?

Which way will the Oscars go I wonder...

‘It’s Complicated’ is a cliché and a tiresome one at that!

Romantic Comedies are popular with all of us. When we are stuck at the video shop not knowing what to rent, having seen all the essential must see movies, we always gravitate toward the romcoms, thinking hey, how bad can it be.

The thing is, I think romcoms are doing major damage to our female psyche. That and the fact that the comedy part of it all always fails to deliver should make us all think twice before defaulting to this stupid genre when at the video store.

The damage, (I think the he’s just not that into you commentary was along a similar vein), that these movies do is to allow us to think the outrageous and ludicrous is possible. And you ask, what was so outrageous in ‘It’s Complicated’? The fact that a warm blooded man species with working organ, would lust after a sixty-something year old exwife over a dominatrix-looking twenty-something year old rockhard-bodied current wife. Is this realistic?

Romcoms suck ass.

Personally, give me Reservation Road, Bridges of Madison County, American Beauty and the like anytime.

About Meryl Streep. The woman can do no wrong. Yes she is the greatest actor ever. But what a waste of her talent to play in such movies. I hated Mama Mia. I hated Prime. Meryl, if you want to do something light and fun do it in your own spare time please!