The love that dare not speak its name...

I believe I am a simple creature with simple pleasures and simple pains. But ever since I could read or watch television my preference has tended to be for the out of the ordinary, the unusual and the surprising. This is true for anybody, we don’t want to be reading or watching the same stories over and over again do we?

Growing up I remember those teeny bopper romantic flicks that caused the way I see relationships now. You remember Pretty in Pink, the ugly duckling story, for example. Now that was one of my favourites. Another book/movie that made a lasting impression on my young romantic mind was Wuthering Heights. It broke my heart it was beautiful.

The conclusion that my young self came to watching all these movies was that love was not easy and more often than not people who are meant to be together find it difficult to get together but eventually end up together, whether in death or in a relationship. But this is after conquering great difficulties, my favourite difficulty to conquer is the inner battle where you don’t want to admit to yourself that he/she is the one.

The greatest battle is the fight for the love that dare not speak its name. I don’t remember the first gay movie I watched or the first gay story I read. I remember I was always into Stephen Fry and loved the stories about the English public boys only schools. I remember Threesome and watched it over and over again all the way through varsity. I remember Maurice and Tales of the City, My own Private Idaho and Midnight Cowboys. Then came a different kind of gay movie for me which made me laugh and love and enjoy the art that is to be a drag queen. Pricilla Queen of the Desert comes to mind. Even Russell Crowe did it for me in the Sum of Us!

I loved these books and these movies because nothing beats ‘forbidden’ love and I search for this kind of intensity in my own life where I get into impossible situations where my attraction to someone is so intense but forbidden, I still have not found my happy ending.

There are however those gay movies that are just bad! There is nothing worse than a bad gay movie and even though we are bombarded by bad teeny bopper movies all the time starring buffy the vampire slayer they are still avoidable because you know not to go there.

Push Play (virtual video shop that has an amazing selection of DVD’s) has opened a whole new world to me. They have a great selection of movies and I am going through their gay movies. I am finding out that they are not always so great and it pains me to say that. What makes them so bad is that I feel that they are made for those dirty old gay men who have fantasies about under age kids and it is just so borderline. It’s like watching that horrible movie Kids. There might be a reason why Kids was made but I bet you the pedophiles out there love it to bits and they are the only ones renting it out.

But there’s also a different kind of bad gay movie where they stereo type gay men. Movies that think that gay men are only out there to turn straight men. Drag queens who are just a cliché and have no creative insults. These I also try to avoid but not having not seen the trailers it is difficult to judge what’s going to be bad. I am going through the list on push play and some of the movies are gems, like The Trip. Some just leave you feeling very dirty.

I have to say something about Brokeback Mountain. When I first watched this movie I cried for a week, and then I went back and watched it again and cried for another week, and then I found the short story it is based on and read it and cried for another week. This was the ultimate romantic tragedy for me and I hope more directors like Ang Lee make the choice to tell these stories. The love that dare not speak its name whose story needs to be told, in all its variations.

Is there hope for all us in the world? One of few things I remember from my education, a philosopher philosophied that in the beginning, we were all physically attached to our partners in life, something happened and we were separated. We now go through life trying to find the person we are meant to be attached to.

"The Origin of Love"
by John Cameron Mitchell and Stephen Trask

When the earth was still flat,,
And clouds made of fire,
And mountains stretched up to the sky,
Sometimes higher,
Folks roamed the earth
Like big rolling kegs.
They had two sets of arms.
They had two sets of legs.
They had two faces peering
Out of one giant head
So they could watch all around them
As they talked; while they read.
And they never knew nothing of love.
It was before the origin of love.

The origin of love.

And there were three sexes then,
One that looked like two men
Glued up back to back,
Called the children of the sun.
And similar in shape and girth
Were the children of the earth.
They looked like two girls
Rolled up in one.
And the children of the moon
Were like a fork shoved on a spoon.
They were part sun, part earth,
Part daughter, part son.

The origin of love.

Now the gods grew quite scared
Of our strength and defiance
And Thor said,
"I'm gonna kill them all
With my hammer,
Like I killed the giants."
But Zeus said, "No,
You better let me
Use my lightning, like scissors,
Like I cut the legs off the whales,
Dinosaurs into lizards."
And then he grabbed up some bolts
He let out a laugh,
Said, "I'll split them right down the middle,
Gonna cut them right up in half."
And then storm clouds gathered above
Into great balls of fire

And then fire shot down
From the sky in bolts
Like shining blades
Of a knife.
And it ripped
Right through the flesh
Of the children of the sun
And the moon
And the earth.
And some Indian god
Sewed the wound up into a hole,
Pulled it round to our belly
To remind us of the price we pay.
And Osiris and the gods of the Nile
Gathered up a big storm
To blow a hurricane,
To scatter us away,
In a flood of wind and rain,
And a sea of tidal waves,
To wash us all away,
And if we don't behave
They'll cut us down again
And we'll be hopping around on one foot
And looking through one eye.

Last time I saw you
We had just split in two.
You were looking at me.
I was looking at you.
You had a way so familiar,
But I could not recognize,
'Cause you had blood on your face;
I had blood in my eyes.
But I could swear by your expression
That the pain down in your soul
Was the same as the one down in mine.
That's the pain,
That cuts a straight line
Down through the heart;
We called it love.
So we wrapped our arms around each other,
Tried to shove ourselves back together.
We were making love,
Making love.
It was a cold dark evening,
Such a long time ago,
When by the mighty hand of Jove,
It was a sad story
How we became
Lonely two-legged creatures,
It's the story of
The origin of love.
That's the origin of love.

So I watched Rra bubi

So is it Rra bubi, or Rabubi?
Spiderman number three. Hmmmmmm. Look, I think I generally enjoy these super hero movies. Kinda gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling - that good will always triumph over evil.
That 'there's no need to worry' kind of feeling - everything will be alright.

Well Spiderman wasn't all that. Whoever did the trailer is a genius because that's about the only thing that got me wanting to see the movie on the big screen. Well that and my love for Rabubi.
The comic strip was so good, that no matter how bad the movie is - I still appreciate it because I appreciated the comic strip. I could say the same about batman, spiderman, X-Men, Hulk and so on. (the X-Men movies were phenomenal though - didn't mean to bunch it up with the rest of the no so greats).

It's as if they just came up with a couple of different ideas - completely different from one another and tried to bridge those idea together. They tried to do too much in one movie. They should have stuck with one idea. I'd wait for it on Mnet if I were you.

Lucky number sleven

Josh Hartnet (who I'd only ever seen in teen flicks - is absolutely brilliant), Bruce Willis (who is made for these kinds of movies), Ben Kingsley and Morgan Freeman (less challenging roles), Stanley Tucci (who I adored in Shall We Dance) and Lucy Lui (who reminds me of how much I miss Ally McBeal) are the stars of the show.

The set, consisting largely of dizzying wallpaper, is New york and the story centres around Slevin, a girl, a cop, two mob bosses called THE BOSS and THE RABBI and a mysterious assassin. There is but one twist on this movie, and you won't catch on till...well I didn't catch on till about ten minutes before the end of the movie and I'm usually good with these kinds of twisted movies.

Brokensword, if you haven't seen this one - I'm sure you'll like it a lot. It's 'thrilling'.

Clerks 2

I am a fan of Kevin Smith. I fell in love with Jay and Silent Bob in Chasing Amy (one of my all time favourite movies) when Silent Bob tells the story of chasing Amy. I had seen clerks and enjoyed it. Then came Dogma and I was blown away. Jay and Silent Bob Strike back was hilarious! Jersey Girl was just too main stream for me.

And now there is Clerks 2 and I am thinking, hhmm, is this the end? Too crude, although I loved Wanda Sikes’ cameo. Nothing new. There is a scene in the movie where the two friends are in a jail cell and they confess their undying love for each other. This was done in Chasing Amy when Banky and Holden contemplate a three way with Holden’s girlfriend. It was unique, and it was heartfelt and not it gets repeated on Clerks 2.

I don’t want to say that Kevin has lost his touch but he lost me a little bit by making this not-worthwhile sequel. Dick and fart and masturbation jokes can only take you so far until it starts getting tired.

Television is the pits...

Haai no maan.
I'm going to go back to hi-fi corporation and demand my money back. Yes hi-fi corporation and not the sabc or etv...I don't want my television anymore.
You know I spoke about IPTV the other day...and some months ago about 18 different companies wanting to enter the paytv market (think dstv). SABC being one of the players.
I'm thinking if the SABC can't make three channels (four if you count SABC Africa) - would I want to have their paytv version?
e-tv's also vying for a paytv licence...they can't even get their soapies right. Who would want to buy a paytv version of their offering.
Haai no maan. You know I don't even turn the television on anymore.
If those sabc fuckers dare call me again wanting me to pay a tv licence, I'm gonna tell them I don't watch television. I don't need a licence anymore. Sheesh...the cheak. You know last year they kept hounding me about a licence for a good three months. I paid their silly bums and they kept calling...now I'm going to tell them straight up - I don't watch TV anymore.
Truelly I don't.
I have it so I can watch DVDs - I wonder what they'll say to that.
Thank God for the Internet, otherwise I really don't know what I'd do with myself.

Perfect Stranger

I absolutely adore Giovanni Ribisi. Can't remember when I first fell in love with him...maybe it was the other sister, no...earlier than that. Him and Edward Norton - my absolute favourite actors.

I know they can sourta get typecast. But I just love the characters they play. It's no different in Perfect Stranger. Ribisi plays a tekkie (computer geek) with a rather interesting fetish. He always plays these off-ish characters. I love it.

Would have lurved to see him and Halle Berry smooching (he wanted to so bad...too bad). You know it's so very hard to fault a really good looking person. She's brilliant in this movie just cause she's gorgeous.

Oh and Bruce Willis...don't think he pulled off the advertising company founder character all that well. I prefer him in the Die Hard (which is coming out soon - I think number 4) or the "I see dead people" type movie. He just can't play a normal guy.

Anywhos - the movie is a drama apparently, but I think it's more of a thriller. A light thriller if ever there was such. What I loved about it, is the fact that I got the story completely wrong. I'm often on point with these kinds of movies...but I got it wrong. It ain't a bad movie - watch it if you can't think of anything better to watch. It's mildly entertaining.

The Samas are hating on Tumi...

Look, I don't pretend to be a music guru - far from it. I'm a normal joeline, that has her own personal taste - and that's all you need to know before reading what I have to say.
De La Rey was nominated for song of the year???
Ms Dana was the queen of the night with four awards. Big ups to her, I love that woman's music and whoever does her outfits is right on point.
Tumi...they tricked him didn't they. They made him think he was going to win by putting two of his albums up for nomination and then letting that Flabba get it. Look, I enjoy Flabba's music - it's fun. After watching the choice of winners for the best rap album category over the years - I gotta start asking myself, who's judging that category. It just seemed to me that they just go on whatever's popular. Is that how judging works?
My other disappointment was Lvovo - that dude deserved to kick Kabelo's ass/arse - one time. Did you check out his performance. I love him. I just love him.
SBU...only his fans would have voted him for song of the year. I mean how does HE win song of the year for a song that ain't even his? These compilation CDs are just shyte in my mind.
Kabelo as a host wasn't a bad idea. He just irritated me when he started getting undressed - distasteful I though. Might have worked for the dukuduku awards or something as mediocre.
Must say that One presenter - too lazy to google his name, is one of the best presenters I've seen on SA television yet.
Was glad Vusi Mahlasela got best male - he's freakin brilliant. I love him. Did you see him get down with that rock band. I thought the collaboration was just off the hinges.

Adaptation

So it is a Friday night and no DVD, no movie, no TV. The Cape Town Jazz Festival is happening all around me and my computer decides to crash. My first crash mind you and I think I took it rather well (maybe it was because of the 2 glasses of wine I had at lunch, hmmm). My first computer crash and on a Friday when you ready yourself to go home at the strike of five, not nice. Well, left work at about 7 and still had to go back for the programme that allows me to make this post at home.

I reckoned I could not really miss anything on TV as there is no TV for me, and I just can not bare a weekend without the internet and TV. So went back to the office and now am back and we have success.

I think I was meant to be an IT person because really, hey, I am back online and my outlook did not lose anything that I should miss. It’s good really. I think we all need our computers to crash every once in while if only to figure out how the heck stuff works.

Anyway, I am supposed to be writing about all the things I can get up to without a TV.

1. I do not have to rush back home, from gym so that I do not miss the 19h30 drama. Tuesday is Gilmore Girls which I have outgrown (no one can have that kind of relationship with their mother! No one should have that kind of relationship with their mother!), On Wednesdays it is some stupid detective story which I watch because hey I am on my couch and something is on TV. On Thursday is the etv movie that has been repeated 200 times. Friday, oh Friday, that is the test as I usually treat myself to the latest DVD’s from the video store. I am doing okay, I will survive, I have to survive.
2. I do not have to watch crappy shows
3. I can be a snob. When co workers are standing around the coffee machine and talk about the previous night’s episode of CSI, I can say, ‘oh, I do not have television, I am just finishing the latest book by Stephen Hawking, you should really read it, it is fantastic’.
4. I have time. I can wash dishes and pack them away, and have a bath and relax.

This is all great. But a long weekend is coming up and I am just too weak to face it without visual entertainment. The boss said to me today, ‘oh, you should get a plasma flat screen TV to replace your Tv’. I hate rich people, they just do not get it.


I am going to break this weekend and I will probably get the TV fixed or get one of those rock bottom cheap ones and just give in.

If it is between paying R500 for a weekend’s entertainment at the Jazz or R500 for 6 months worth of lousy TV, my choice is made. Now if I can just find the R500.

300

So the Oscar fever is gone and it is time to get back to normal cinema. Time to get back to choosing to watch a movie because the preview was just so dammed enticing.

A simple story really. Wikipedia says: ‘Spartan King Leonidas (Gerard Butler) and 300 Spartans fight to the last man against Persian King Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro) and his army of more than one million soldiers, while in Sparta, Queen Gorgo (Lena Headey) attempts to rally support for her husband.’ So that is the story. That is it, klaar, kaput. Simple, uncomplicated, no twists and turns or clever story lines.

I had to go see this movie. It was for me like seeing the preview to the Matrix or Lord of the Rings and thinking damn, I have to see this movie. gave And before I saw it, Barry Ronge gave it the thumbs up (I think) and Adam Swindler (sp) gave it the thumbs down. I had to determine for myself. I have determined that it is what it is and it is good.

I especially love the slow mo they do in the fighting scenes. The whole feel of the movie reminded me a lot of the feel of Sin City. Although I enjoyed the plot of the movie and such but I especially enjoyed the dismembering and the portrayal of blood and strength and eyeballs. In Sin City, Mickey Rourke was my favourite character because he was border line between super strength and normal man that can bleed and feel pain. These are the Spartan Warriors. 300 of the Mickey Rourke character in Sin City.

See this one if only for the visual spectacle. It is amazing.

Three spoons

Rude Boy bounced PABI

I couldn't believe it when I read the news here

Turns out Rude Boy was overlooked for the breakfast job when Fresh made his exit out of YFM.

I remember back in the day when he used to hook up shows like Rap Activity Jam...I thought it revolutionary for radio. Along with that came some social responsibility with the likes of the LoveLive sponsored shows talking sex.
I used to love him. I used to think he was the harrtest thing...I was a teenage girl in love. I'm over it now. Not quite the fan I used to be.

But I reckon he might just help YFM get back on the bandwagon. I don't know, maybe it's just me (I hardly listen to the station these days. I kinda boycotted it after they let Phat Joe leave) but Y's been lacking big time.

PABI...I loved her before radio when she did some PlayTV show on SABC - I thought her funny, and thought she'd be a perfect fit for breakfast on YFM. But like I said, never really listened to the station so angazi.

I do think that these are exciting times for radio. John Perlman and Nikiwe Bikitsha gone at SAFM.

Ezra Ndwande leaving Metro (he didn't quite fill Given Mkhari's big shoes).

Unathi, MacFarlane, Adil, DRE (finally) leaving YFM.

A colleague just pointed this out to me SBU vs RUDEBOY vs BADBOY - BREAKFAST will never be the same again. I'm thinking Gareth Cliff might just be swopped around with Fresh.

It's on April 2 - Ayeye. Exciting times for radio...atleast I hope. Anybody listen to Mo G on Radio2000?