Transformers – Revenge of the Fallen

What an obscene show of budget! Explosions and fights and explosions and CGI and explosions and for what? For What? There is just so much money oozing out of this blockbluster show-off of a movie that I am beginning to really dislike Michael Bay and his Bruckheimer and his Spielberg backing. Really now… There are, I am sure, 20 indie films that could have been made with a 10th of this $300 million budget and I am sure the indie movies would have had a far more positive, enjoyable and collective sense of ‘whatever’ (fill in to what you think is cosmically appropriate) impact. (Okay so I watched the Screening Room on CNN about struggling African film makers today as well).

Never mind that! We go to the movies to escape and for a film like Transformers 2 (the first one I thought was a bit juvenile) that escape should last the mandatory 90 minutes. Anything beyond that is just too tiring and you start wanting to escape from the escape.

And so, yes, if you’ve seen Michael Bay movies you recognize his signature shots on various movies. You see Pearl Habour, Bad Boys etc. These were huge budget films and in each one there are unique shots that, if you did not know it was a Bay movie, those shots would smack you across the face as if Mr Bay himself was doing the smacking. (I suddenly need to cleanse myself)

Whereas typical movies have that one whimsical, quirky character that provides comic relief, most characters in this movie had that role, which was a little bit lame. The John Turturro character who is looking to die for America at every opportunity but does not manage to meet this demise, the ditzy mother whose role it is to embarrass her son when ever she can and is also an under ground dagga fiend. The cowardly college room mate who has conspiracy theories only to see them realized. The two Autobots painted to parody Chris Tucker’s character in Rush Hour. Even the main character is a kind of a side kick who has a nervous condition that makes every single situation in the movie a life or death one. Pity he did not stay dead in the end.

All in all, I either was going through nicotine withdrawal or I was getting extremely impatient with this movie. I would, nonetheless, discourage people to go see it, there are far worthier films out there (worth your 2.5 hours, if you go see this one you allow Mr Bay to make yet another obscenely over budgeted blockbuster which fills plot with explosions), I am sure of it!

Transformers 2 gets 1 spoon, choo chooing towards my rectum.

If you are thinking of having a Bay festival, here is your definitive list: Bad Boys; The Rock; Armageddon; Pearl Harbor; Bad Boys II and then; Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen