Clash of the Titans

Other than to help you brush up on one’s distorted and limited view of Greek mythology for a game of 30 seconds (I mean really where else would one use this) and to ogle Sam Worthington’s awesomeness and almost have a peak up his skirt, this remake of a very bad movie should probably not have been made.

I wondered why I’d not heard much about this movie and the reason is this… it is not worth seeing and no one wants to put anybody else through the misery so everyone is necessarily forgetting that they’d seen it.

My issues:
Why the hack does Medusa get such a bad rap? It’s not fair that she gets her head chopped off and the pretty princess who could save the day as well by being dead is left unharmed head attached to body. What did Medusa ever do to anybody? Okay fine she turned people to stone but they should have known better than to sexually harass her.

Why the hell did they make it in 3D? It added nothing and the many times that I took my goggles off, it seemed a bit clearer, less irritating to the eye.

It is too loud. Yes I do make use of ear phones and I do put the volume at its maximum but this should not make me more sensitive to noise. There was a lot of noise which just irritated. Mind you I am aware that noise can be an issue for people of a certain age but I enjoyed Terminator Salvation and Star Trek. They were not noisy, they had good sound which added to the enjoyment of the movie. Titans tried to make the effect of the movie to be its loudness and and it failed miserably.

The effects were no better than the original flick. Even in 3D! And having made this in the new decade of the new millennium, this is a disgrace. Pegasus for instance, the winged flying horse. In 1981, it’s flying form may have been a little out there but in 2010, one needs to hire someone who can say, if a horse were to fly, this is how it would do it. Know what I mean? Know what I mean? The legs, after taking flight would neatly fold themselves into its body. The heard would be aligned to its body so that there’s less friction. Something just something to say, we are not just doing a remake of this, we have actually thought about it a little.
All the characters of the movie did not make sense. It was nice to see the stars of Skins but they make a pathetic showing. Effie and Tony (yummy Nicholas Hoult) of Skins, back together again… and they are terrible. They looked so out of place and thought they were still in their skins characters.
All in all, a small disappointment (because expectations were low enough).

Liam Neeson vs Laurens Olivier as the Zeus’s. Both lose. Good foundation for a really epic Lord of the Rings type. And everyone knows a little bit about the subject so Hollywood writers, get a little bit creative will ya? It’s sold, just come up with a decent product.

No spoons…