Lost the taste for snoek fish

Do you remember the dried out very salty fish? Well, took a trip to the west coast, had to come back a day early ‘cause it just was not happening.

Anyway, I’d always heard about this Bokoms that was supposed to be this west coast delicacy and I get there, get the Bokoms and guess what, it is the snoek fish that we use to buy at the corner shop for a few rand back in the day.

This made me realise that as far apart as we are, we really do the same ole things and, a rose, by any other name, still smells as pungent!. Snoek fish stinks. Had it in the car the whole 5 hour drive (took a few detours) from Lamberts’ Bay to Cape Town.

I had expected a whole new world experience, a taste of something I had not tasted before but alas, what you can get in the middle of Orlando (Soweto) in the spaza shop is just as readily available in the middle of a wilderness conservation area.

Lambert’s Bay is not all bad though. Just as you get the old decomposing dog on the streets of the location, one can get a similar experience along the ‘pristine’ coast lines of the Atlantic Ocean. Only there it is decomposing seals and sea birds along the coast line.

Anyway, to get back to the subject of this particular post, I think I could do a nice road movie of the Western Cape. Imagine, you live in Cape Town, are originally from Soweto, want to explore the country and find out more about the people and its fauna and flora. Yes, documentaries have been made (Lebo Mashile does an excellent job every week) but I cannot think of a feature film on the diversity and oddities of our different and odd little towns right here in SA. I sure Wim Wenders would be interested, just got to put together a screenplay.

Moving on, this would be a comedy, to beat the likes of Muriel’s wedding and Pricilla, Queen of the Desert. I see a scene where I (it would have to start me!) walk into a restaurant where I order a bacon egg and cheese BURGER. Only to be brought bacon, egg and (heavily processed) cheese ROLL. What happened to the patty? Surely the definition of a burger is that it must include (whether soya, or horse?! based) some kind of a patty! Not in the west coast folks. And this was an up market restaurant with table clothes and all!

Another scene, a total opposite would be driving to the oh so larnie spa in the middle of a nature reserve. The least they could do, for having a R3000 a night hotel/spa in the middle of nowhere is have the road, leading up to that heavenly place, stared for goodness sakes. By the time you get there you have been so stirred and shook you can’t see straight. I swear I thought the clouds were coming together like in a scene of War of the Worlds. Was very disappointed though to find out that after driving 2 hours at 20 kilometres per hour that massages were only for the German tourist who could afford the bloody R3000 per night.

Alas, I will try (not) and find the time to do this screen play and send to Wim Wenders and Miramax. They should be interested. It will be a killer. I have a title already, Fuck Sushi, try some Bokoms, it has more character.

The West Coast is an interesting place and I do not think that a movie, even ‘Forgiveness’ has captured it in 8mm. A most beautiful place but for me, a single desperate black female, searching for the truth out there, it did not offer much. Will go back for a second take, maybe with another single desperate black female for a second opinion. Then maybe a South African version of Thelma and Louise could be born?

Lekker ry hoor,

Liewe Brokensword!